i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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