My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
