Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
