a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
