i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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