Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize