No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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