Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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