Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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