do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
vagina is talking i cant
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
