the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize