I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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