don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My penis needs a shock collar
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
