its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this beer tastes like vomit already
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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