Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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