my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
