do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
