some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My dick has a subreddit
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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