Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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