dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
