I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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