it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
