from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
