omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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