i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
