We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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