sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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