Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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