PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
