whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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