Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
