Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
