marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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