On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
