I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
