"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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