Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae