i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"