Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.

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(908): i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it. http://tfl.nu/dy81

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

he should get drunk with us

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(610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt

Replies (20) Good night (5273) Bad night (641)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

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(610): You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final http://tfl.nu/7b8j

Replies (18) Good night (10048) Bad night (890)
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(410): View more from Maryland

There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

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(410): There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/a558

Replies (9) Good night (5015) Bad night (1354)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

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(919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/6akp

Replies (4) Good night (6761) Bad night (1022)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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(541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3

Replies (25) Good night (7558) Bad night (901)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.

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(404): I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money. http://tfl.nu/7bbu

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(753): View more from

He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.

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(753): He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means. http://tfl.nu/ooa4

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

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(907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq

Replies (11) Good night (3400) Bad night (975)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.

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(+61): Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on. http://tfl.nu/q17g

Replies (13) Good night (3403) Bad night (857)
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(707): View more from California

I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day

(408): View more from California

Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry

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(707): I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day (408): Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry http://tfl.nu/3wks

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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(201): Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell http://tfl.nu/payj

Replies (5) Good night (2597) Bad night (371)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

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(401): Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse http://tfl.nu/uyp3

Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (301)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.

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(312): I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct. http://tfl.nu/4xpm

Replies (0) Good night (690) Bad night (293)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.

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(419): Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women. http://tfl.nu/y0qe

Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (745)

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