that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea