I'm really into asian looking animals
I skipped work to stalk him.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
