We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.