Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

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(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome. http://tfl.nu/21pe

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(858): View more from California

Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

(858): View more from California

i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents

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(858): Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions. (858): i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents http://tfl.nu/ut40

Replies (19) Good night (601) Bad night (2314)
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(813): View more from Florida

Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

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(813): Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive. http://tfl.nu/ya8a

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(901): View more from Tennessee

She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

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(901): She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A. http://tfl.nu/01sf

Replies (43) Good night (1748) Bad night (5572) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.

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(585): He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius. http://tfl.nu/hqjt

Replies (26) Good night (7802) Bad night (1057)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this

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(604): fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this http://tfl.nu/yh2h

Replies (10) Good night (4630) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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(408): View more from California

He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.

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(408): He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize. http://tfl.nu/u4mt

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?

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(724): Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos? http://tfl.nu/mgyg

Replies (27) Good night (3826) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.

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(616): i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins. http://tfl.nu/oy0i

Replies (9) Good night (2050) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad

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(210): Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad http://tfl.nu/hc4q

Replies (9) Good night (3787) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo

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(317): We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo http://tfl.nu/qbn3

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.

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(864): I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day. http://tfl.nu/a8c7

Replies (22) Good night (2465) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm wearing red that night.

(301): View more from Maryland

Noted, what shade?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Whore.

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(202): I'm wearing red that night. (301): Noted, what shade? (202): Whore. http://tfl.nu/7182

Replies (9) Good night (3617) Bad night (581)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.

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(901): Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn. http://tfl.nu/sdqi

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(613): View more from Ontario

You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

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(613): You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working http://tfl.nu/3fis

Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt

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