just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
