so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
