Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
