Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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