I should be sponsored by Trojan
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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