don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
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I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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