A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
