Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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