My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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