do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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