the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
