And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
