so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize