so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
