My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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