yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
