Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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