I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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