Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
