Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
