I CAN MOONWALK!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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