I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
