dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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